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Collaborative
Divorce has sometimes been described
as divorce without war. The only
goal in the collaborative divorce
process is a settlement which works
for both of the parties. In order to
focus all efforts on achieving a
settlement, all participants in the
divorce, including the lawyers,
agree not to litigate any issues in
court.
Lawyers trained in the collaborative
process frequently possess years of
experience as litigators.
Experienced litigators have learned
that judges’ decisions can
frequently be unpredictable. Judges
may interpret law and/or facts
differently than anticipated. Judges
often are overwhelmed by staggering
caseloads and may not have
sufficient time to devote to each
individual case. It is almost a
certainty that judges will never
know the parties as well as they
know themselves.
The lawyers know that once a case
proceeds to court, the parties
become adversarial. The lawyers
frequently become adversarial as
well, by virtue of the fact that
they are focused only on winning
their side, which means trying to
make the other side lose. This can
unfortunately result in the lawyers
themselves contributing to the
escalation of conflict in the case.
The lawyers know that if court cases
resolve, the resolution is
frequently reached at the very last
minute, even on the very day of
trial. The parties typically will
have expended large amounts of money
on attorney fees. After several
months of fighting, the parties’
relationship may be irreparably
damaged. Not surprisingly, the
children of the parties often bear
the brunt of the conflict between
their parents, for years to come.
Collaborative divorce provides an
alternative to the war. In a
collaborative case, the lawyer is no
longer a hired gun, retained by the
client to win at any cost. The
parties no longer face an
unpredictable outcome as no
decisions can be reached without the
full participation of both parties.
While no longer acting as a hired
gun, the collaborative lawyer
zealously represents the client’s
best interests. The client is fully
advised by the collaborative lawyer
as to relevant law, and is fully
informed of the facts, which enables
the client to make the best
decisions possible.
At the same time, lawyers in a
collaborative case are required to
work with each other as a team. What
this means is that collaborative
lawyers must ensure that both
parties have been advised as to the
law and that everyone has all the
facts they need to make the right
decisions. If experts are needed,
such as a financial planner, child
specialist, or appraiser, the
parties use one expert, instead of
each retaining their own and
incurring additional expense.
Divorce coaches can be
extraordinarily useful in the
collaborative divorce process. A
divorce can be one of the most
stressful events in a person’s life.
Coaches assist the spouses in
communicating with each other so
that they can say what they need to
say to each other in a way that
moves the process toward settlement.
Coaches help the parties to cope
with difficult emotions such as
intense anger and sadness, which
enables the parties to make
decisions when they are at their
best.
If you retain us as your attorney in
a collaborative case, we will only
work with opposing counsel who are
trained in the collaborative
process. There are many such
attorneys and we will be happy to
provide your spouse or partner with
a list of names.
We can also provide you with more
information about the collaborative
process.
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"If you
ain't never pick up the sword, you ain't never have to worry
about fallin' on it."
--Meldrick
Lewis
While divorce is never
easy or free from all conflict, those electing
to use the collaborative process commit to act
with integrity and to treat each other with
respect. |
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